I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
where are you?
Hypothermia
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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