I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
