I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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