...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize