By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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