Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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