I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Randomize
