Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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