my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
