I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
