We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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