dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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