Where did you get a picture of my penis
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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