It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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