its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
