I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
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