do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Randomize