Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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