I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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