Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
