I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Who died my cat blue again?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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