I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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