i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
