Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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