Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
