my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
