I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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