You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
