I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
