so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
