you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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