peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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