His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
