11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
