how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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