Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
