Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Ketchup is God's man juice
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
