Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
