I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Randomize
