its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
