I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
