My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Shame - the story of my life.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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