Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Boobs are out for the taking
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
