just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
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