these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
We don't watch enough power rangers
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
