i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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