first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
