his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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