she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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