dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
is that a dick in a sweater?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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