im drinking this country out of the recession.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
How does it feel to date your dad?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
