you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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