Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
