shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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