I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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