i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
