I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
