I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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