ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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