she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
