i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize