just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
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