is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
