He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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